She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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