youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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