OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
