some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
