I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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