Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
