Jerry, you need to find god
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
