8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
