Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
