i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
