ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
