i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
