I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
A+ Viking dick
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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