Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
