So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
