Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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