at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
