Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
