I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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