I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
soo... how was my night?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
