Can i not drive my cunt home
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
