Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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