Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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