I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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