Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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