i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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