AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
