I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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