Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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