nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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