did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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