My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
