I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
