Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
