some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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