Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
