Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
