Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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