did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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