guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
