I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
