on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
