this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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