I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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