I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
