Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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