I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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