Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
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We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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