he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
