oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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