He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
