its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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