My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
