If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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