Porn is love you can see.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize