you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
